Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
