Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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