too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize