I am puke
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
