I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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