super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
