In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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