I'm jealous of your bromance
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Holy sore nipples Batman
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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