Your dad touched me again.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
