your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
