Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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