Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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