Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
