he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
