smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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