Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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