So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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