you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
