I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize