the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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