yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
