you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
