Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
