Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize