I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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