the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
