so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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