Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
