The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
