Will you blow on my dice?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
its not stalking. its research.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
