do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
