I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
