There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
