uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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