In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
