okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
