Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
