You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
