just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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