Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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