Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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