even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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