Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
