I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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