She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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