can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
