are you still at the devil's house?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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