This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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