I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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