So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
