i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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