They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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