do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
