Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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