apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
