i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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