Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
