my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
