remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
A bitchslap is in order.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
