idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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