highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
