i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize