he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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