We won't sleep together?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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