i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
