So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
