I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
