I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
