don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
