This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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