my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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