I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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