Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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