covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize