I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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