I'm drive I can fine osifer
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
